Nice v. Kind

There’s a saying “Nice guys [people], finish last” – There’s a reason for that.

Stay true. The second most important aspect of life for me is authenticity, the first being my time. I often feel we live in a world where everyone is so focused on appearing to be “fine” and being a “nice person”, we lose sight of true humanity, true friendship and true love.

Authenticity is hard, it challenges us, and it forces us to be better. When we truly love ourselves, we’re not as concerned with the opinions and validations of others. We’re not focused on “being nice” as much as we’re focused on being true, being kind.

• Nice focuses on self, external validations and others’ perceptions.
• Kind focuses on core values, empathy, mercy and compassion.

Society tends to emphasize nice and personality; this is often done at the expense of kind and character.

For more on Personality vs. Character please read: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

When you’re “nice”, you feel fear telling the truth  because it may be hurtful or controversial,  you try to avoid difficult situations for the sake of keeping comfortable environments.

When you’re “kind”, you understand truth is needed for true connection and growth. You tend to develop yourself to find methods for expressing yourself that are both genuine yet emphatic. You don’t avoid difficult situations for the sake of keeping comfortable environments; you create environments that promote opportunities for dialogue,  discourse, growth and change.

It’s actually quite easy to be nice. Niceness doesn’t directly correlate to true values and intentions; it’s external and superficial. It is fundamentally more difficult, yet more important to strive for kindness. Kindness starts with oneself and is a reflection of character.

The reason “nice people finish last” has nothing to do with the inherent  “behaviors” of the person. It stems from their motivation and values.

• A nice person will let another walk over them, while a kind person loves themselves enough to speak up.
• A nice person won’t outwardly express their concern for your debilitating habit, a kind person will challenge you to seek help.
• A nice person won’t refute an opposing position, a kind person will have the conviction to seek why and understand their differences.

• Nice says, smile and put on the picture of positivity regardless of what happens to you. Stay positive, think good things. Be happy.
• Kind says, feel and allow yourself to be vulnerable to truly connect. Confront your issues and deal with them accordingly. Remain courageous, honorable and true. Be human.

Nice people finish last, because kind people finish first.

Don’t confuse niceness for kindness. – “Nice is Instagram…Kind is Reality”

Stay true to yourself, seek kindness towards yourself and everyone.

Written while listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcsUYu0PVxY&t=4205s