After a much longer absence from writing than intended, I found the strength to get back into the flow of things, hopefully more consistently than not this time around.
Several weeks ago my sister asked me what are my ultimate life goals as a person. I answered with the only most obvious dude answer.
“To be rich and famous, with lots of fast cars and like 5 super model girlfriends in a playboy mansion style house…yeahhhh #winning”
As fun and appealing as this life may seem, I knew the second I opened my mouth I was lying and joking completely. The fact of the matter is that while I may be in my mid 20s and am in no way not fascinated by such a lifestyle, I know for me, this is not my ultimate dream.
As the conversation turned more serious: my ultimate dreams were explained. More than anything in the world I want to eventually be a great husband and a great father. Today I will focus on the husband aspect as I have much to say about both:
Some may ask..how do you define, “great husband”. I’m not exactly sure how to answer that. I just know that I want to be the kind of man that will make his wife number one and have her as the true queen in his life. I want to be able to disagree and argue with her knowing that everything we do is for each other. In one sense this is not as far fetched of a dream as some may assume, but with marriage rates failing at all time highs and infidelity at even higher levels, something isn’t quite right in the way we as a society view this thing called marriage. Your spouse should be your significant other, your best friend, your everything and at times they may very well be your toughest critic and the most stressful person to be around (aka the biggest pain in your ass). I am not oblivious to the challenges of marriage nor am I am intending to shy away from them when the time comes. I simply will not marry for the sake of marrying or settling down. I am way too proud for that and the other person wouldn’t deserve the insincerity, no matter how minimal it may be. If a person cannot have my all, I’d rather not waste their time or mine.
Marriage is very difficult in and of itself, and managing marriage with all the other factors of life is even more challenging. Too often, people opt for the easy way out, whether it be infidelity, divorce etc. In no way am I saying that sometimes things just do not work for people, and it may be in everyone’s best interest to separate. In fact, I am a product of a broken home and saw first handedly what can happen when two people who can not stand each other try to stick it out for the sake of sticking out, or ‘for the children’ etc. That provision mentioned, I still believe too many people are treating marriage too causally.
Nothing is just going to work out if you don’t put the time, effort and energy in to make it work. Anything worth having and worth holding requires WORK! If he or is she that important, go the extra mile for him or her…show him or her. Do the intangibles, anyone can buy something. Remind him or her why you two vowed to be together for the long haul. Work at it or don’t waste each other’s time.
Maybe I am very traditional in my mindset on this matter and need to adapt to the times, maybe not.
Knowing and believing all this, I am a firm believer marriage will be extremely difficult for me. I am not the easiest person to get along with on a day-to-day basis. I can be quite selfish. I’m extremely active and love to stay busy all the time. I love spontaneity and randomness. I love to do what I want without “reporting” to anyone. More than anything I very much enjoy being by myself in a physical sense and from an emotional attachment perspective. I am very comfortable alone which can all probably explain why I’ve been single most of my life =].
So Keith: If you love your “solo” life so much, why would you ever want your ultimate dream to be a great husband? You’re confusing.
Aren’t we all:
Lets just say, as a prelude for a piece yet to be written: “You know when it’s real and When you know…you know”.
To be continued…